Drawing Near

Hi, everybody.

     Vonnie says I need to bring you up to date on my health status.  I think I am finally at a place where I can share it with some degree of clarity.  I also know there are more stories going on in the world than mine, so don't feel obligated to read this.  Sensory overload can be annoying, and I don't want to be annoying to you.

So, for those who might want an update, here is the latest.  I have what is called, "Primary Interosseous Squamous Carcinoma."  It began as a cancer in the oral cavity.  It has returned in the left neck area affecting lymph nodes.  Surgery was conducted on Friday, March 23. 

     I saw my surgeon for a first follow-up visit on March 29 and he told me he felt the immediate result of surgery is progressing nicely and that this part of the journey was successful. My neck is very swollen; this along with the scar from the surgery stares me down every time I look into the mirror. My energy level is nebulous, at best, and demanding great patience on my part -- something that doesn't come easily with me.  

     The sobering news in this is that I will have to have both radiation and chemotherapy.  Radiation I knew about.  We were waiting on the pathology report as to chemotherapy. In the surgery they removed and examined 61 nodes.  Enough of those nodes revealed cancer cells that chemotherapy was determined to be essential to the healing and recovery process.  These treatments will begin in about three weeks or so.  Dr. Kokot told me of possible side effects I should be aware of and that most likely I will have some difficult days, particularly late in the process.   Every person responds individually, however, so we'll see when it is time to cross that bridge.

     This is the physical side of the story.  Thank God, however, that there is more to life than the physical.  Truth is that what makes the physical tolerable, even thrilling and blessed, is that the Divine has entered into the physical world, and lives here.  Our world has been invaded by the Maker of heaven and earth.  In Christ, so says Mr. Wesley, "He…emptied Himself of all but love, and bled for Adam's helpless race." So present is God in the human situation that we are free to pray, in the words of Augustus Toplady, "Rock of Ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee."  How many times I have prayed this prayer and found God to open the door of His grace and welcome me into the place of divine protection, love, and mercy.
     The writer of Hebrews says, "We do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.  Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews. 4:15-16). 

     This is a time of "drawing near" for me, a time of hearing the voice of my "great high Priest, who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God" (Heb. 4:14).  I am comfortable within the embrace of God, and come what may, nothing can snatch me out of the "Rock of Ages, cleft for me."

     I don't like what is happening to me; in fact, there are moments when, quite frankly, it infuriates me.  Don't think for a moment that I am taking all these things too lightly; I am not.  At the same time it is the conviction of my heart that Jesus Is Lord.  On the mountain or in the valley Jesus Is Lord.  Cancer is not Lord.  It has a big bite and announces itself with a big bark, but it is not Lord.  Jesus Is Lord.  In this light, Martin Luther has given me the words for my testimony as I walk this valley of deep darkness.  He said,

“Feelings come and feelings go,
and feelings are deceiving;
My warrant is the Word of God--
Naught else is worth believing.


Though all my heart should feel condemned
for want of some sweet token,
There is One greater than my heart
Whose Word cannot be broken.


I'll trust in God's unchanging Word
Till soul and body sever,
For, though all things shall pass away,
HIS WORD SHALL STAND FOREVER!”

            Thank you, Mr. Luther.  I'm in --- 100%.  As Eliza Hewett wrote in 1891,

My faith has found a resting place—
Not in device or creed:
I trust the ever living One—
His wounds for me shall plead…

I need no other argument,
I need no other plea;
It is enough that Jesus died,
And that He died for me.

     That's it for now.  God bless you all.

FORWARD STILL,

Rick