The unnamed multitudes of the Gospels intrigue me. In fact, they haunt me a bit because they so beautifully model things in me I wish would go away. They irritate me, too, because I realize that as much as I want to criticize them ultimately I am just pointing my finger at myself.

Take those folks who were a part of the miracle of the feeding of the five thousand in the sixth chapter of the Gospel of John, for instance. There is no doubt about it, they were present the day of the miracle because they had seen Jesus work some pretty wonderful miracles on some very sick people. His actions captured their imaginations and they found themselves following Him. They weren't following Him because they really believed that He was God among them but just because they wanted to be where the action was. After the miracle, they were hooked, sort of. They saw some awesome possibilities of some wonderful things for their own lives and they were very intrigued. However, if the truth be known, they were there because the spectacular always draws a crowd and because of the fact that people want to have their needs and wants and pleasures met.

And, Jesus saw through it all. He saw the phony, the misdirected, the selfish, the ladder-climber, the up-and-coming, the "I have an agenda and I want what I want" crowd -- and He didn't buy it. He rejected it. And as He told them the truth one by one they just whimpered away and faded into the background.

I wonder if their actions startled Jesus or caught Him off guard in some way, because the very next thing He does is to turn to His twelve men and ask them if they wanted to go away also. They said they didn't but I'm not sure He really believed them.

I wonder how Jesus feels when the actions and thoughts and lifestyles and priorities and goals and attitudes of those who say they love Him cause Him in quiet, unguarded, unplanned moments of honesty to feel He must turn to them to see if they are still with Him. That must hurt a little bit, don't you think?

I don't want to be near Jesus because He does spectacular things. I want to be near Him because of who He is. He is Lord and He has called me to Himself, just to be with Him because I love Him. I don't want Him ever to look at me and feel impressed to ask, "You don't want to go away also, do you?"