I sometimes wonder where God is. How is He present? Why He often chooses silence? What is His will? And, sometimes I get bewildered and come face to face with my powerlessness. Thank God I'm not alone, though. The psalmist is my companion for he too experienced those questions. Out of the context of his own life situation he wrote,

Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never be favorable again? Has his lovingkindness ceased forever? Has his promise come to an end forever? Has God forgotten to be gracious or has he in anger withdrawn his compassion? (Ps. 77:7-9)

It is true that sometimes the ways of God are "in the mighty waters." (Psalm 77:19). . Sometimes in life the clouds pour down water and the skies resound with the sounds of thunder (Ps. 77:17). Sometimes lightning lights up the world and the earth trembles and shakes (Ps. 77:18). Sometimes the way of God is deep mystery and his footprints are not seen (Ps. 77:19). What then? How do we proceed? What do we do? What do we say to each other? How do we conduct ourselves? John Henry Jowett says that "Mystery is part of our appointed discipline. Uncertainty is to prepare us for a deeper assurance. The spirit of questioning is one of the ordained means of growth” (My Daily Meditation, (El Camino Press: La Verne, CA., pg. 167) I find great peace in that fact. I think it is wonderful to know when one is "too troubled to speak" (Ps. 77:4) that God is present, maybe in mystery, but still present. As Jowett says,

God's way moves here and there across this trackless wild. God is never lost among our mysteries. He knows his way about. When we are bewildered He sees the road, and He sees the end even from the beginning. Even the sea, in every part of it, is the Lord's highway....And so the bewildering sea is our friend, as some day we shall understand... We need the mysterious sea, the overwhelming experience, the floods of sorrows which we cannot explain. If we had no sea we should never become robust. We should remain weaklings to the end of our days....God take us out into the deeps. But His way is in the sea. He knows the haven, He knows the track, and we shall arrive! (My Daily Meditation)

In his own questioning the psalmist came to a beautiful moment of personal decision that models for us the way of faith, when he said, I shall remember the deeds of the Lord; surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will meditate on all Your work and muse on Your deeds. Your way, O God, is holy; what god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; You have made known Your strength among the peoples. You have by your power redeemed Your people, the sons of Jacob and Joseph (Ps. 77:11-15).

Even in my wondering, God is here. Even when I cannot see his footprints, He is here. When the storm is raging, He is here. When the questions outnumber the answers, He is here. When the pain is greater than the peace, He is here. When the bewilderment elevates the mystery, He is here. When life doesn't make sense, He is here. When the blessings are flowing like a river, He is here. When the path takes us through the fire, He is here. When uncertainty is the order of the day despair is not, for we are on the road redeemed by the God who works wonders (PS. 77:14).

I have a suspicion that until I get to heaven I will wonder about things but one thing I will not wonder about is the fact that God is holy and leads his people like a flock. He did it once by the hand of Moses and Aaron, and his deeds of long ago remind me that what he did once He is continuing to do today. I do not wonder about that at all.