CARPE DIEM

Once upon a time there was a young guy who constantly said to himself, “One of these days when….” He had completed the sentence with so many thoughts over the years it was hard to remember them all.  Ironically, it didn’t really matter, though, because the ship seemed never to come in and the thoughts were left dangling.   

He’s wasn’t dead, mind you; just caught in a loop called, “One-of-these-days-when.”  It’s a vicious loop, really; an unending circle so rooted in “when,” that it is a fatiguing, ongoing, and never-ending cycle of unrealized hopes, frustrated plans, and aborted possibilities.

And then one day the future became the present and the young guy was old.  One-of-these-days became a footnote to a story that began with, “Once upon a time.”  He was young and then he was old and he wondered about what had actually happened in the in-between times.  Where did the time go?  How could it have passed so fast?  How did he get from there to here?  What was his story?  Did he, in fact, have a story? 

It was all such a blur now but he knew that the blur was actually comprised of very real moments and events and people and stories.  In the moments there was no blur, just very real life in a very real world.  What was now a blur was, in the moments, filled with laughter and tears and successes and failures and friends and enemies and learning and unlearning.  There was food and drink and appointments and tests and decisions and a thousand other things and places and encounters and ups and downs; there was life.  But, now it was a blur.  It was decades of life that now became known as “Once upon a time.” 

Once in a while, however, a few and very blessed, people come to themselves and see themselves as recipients of great grace.  Why it took so long to get there is a mystery.  But even mysteries can be celebrated. 

Some times when others might think a story is over and conclude that there never really was a story at all, one lone person gets a gift and sees that what once was, is only a prelude to a miracle of life so powerful that it actually shakes the foundation of a person’s soul, and they wake up.  They wake up – alive – hopeful – still breathing – still dreaming.  Only this time, because of the blur, they embrace new laughter and tears and successes and failures and friends and enemies and learning and unlearning and food and drink and appointments and tests and decisions and a thousand other things and places and encounters and ups and downs with a hallelujah.  It is a broken hallelujah, mind you, but it is a hallelujah. 

Once in a while someone caught in a loop breaks free and catapults out of the loop with such force that when they land they are bruised and broken and bleeding and fatigued.  They may even limp for the rest of their lives.  Yet, the breaking free was so powerful and creative that the bruising and brokenness and bleeding and fatigue become signs of the miracle, a miracle they would not exchange for anything.  They were dead and now they live.  They were pawns caught up in a vicious loop but now they are alive in a new story, a story that trumps the past and by which they enter into the future knowing there are still wonders to behold, stories to write, lives to love, people to embrace, mysteries to unravel.    

Søren Kierkegaard said, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”  The young guy who was now old knew it well.  Some times before we can know our story we must look backwards.  Some times when we are in the moment we forget to live the moment.  It is in looking backwards that we really see the moment and what it was or wasn’t about.  Some people seem never to look back and see.  Others take their stories, the good, the bad, the highs and lows, the victories and failures, and use them as prologue to the future.  More than this, though, they take their story and see it as a way to live into the future.  They become more intentional and thoughtful knowing that even this present moment if not embraced can simply become a “once-upon-a-time.” 

Awaken by grace, a thousand times the young guy who was now old said to himself, “Even at this late date my mantra shall be Carpe diem – Seize the day! Even at this late date it is Forward Still for me. Even at this late date I take what is given to me and I give it to God who has made this moment possible. Even at this late date, ‘My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever’ (Psalm 73:26). Even at this late date, ‘Give me Jesus. You can have all this world, but give me Jesus.’” (by Moses Hogan, published by Lyrics © Hal Leonard Corporation).

Once upon a time there was an old guy who crashed into God one day and the impact was so great that it shook the foundation of his life.  Stunned, he rose up, staggered unsteadily forward, only to recognize that behind him and beside him and before him and underneath him and over him and in him there was God.  Then he got a glimpse of something so powerful it steadied his stagger, balanced his steps, energized his life, and convinced him that grace was everywhere.  God whispered into his ear, “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1, NIV).

           

The Most High was leading him, and that was enough.   It changed his way of thinking, of being, of acting, of living.  It swept him up into a story bigger than his story.  It swept him up out of the yesterdays and the “one-of-these-days-when” and into the infinite possibilities of God who is the Almighty.  The Almighty Most High was with him. 

Carpe diem!