WHEN YOU FINALLY SEE THEM

 In Harper Lee's novel, To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus Finch is speaking to his young daughter, Scout, about some crucial issues facing her in life and says to her, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view--until you climb into his skin and walk around in it” (Part 1 chapter three, p. 33). This crucial piece of moral advice by her father takes root in her heart and it governs her development for the rest of the novel.

I resist making an attempt at pontification here because Atticus' statement stands alone and doesn't need either clarification or defense.  I only say his counsel is truthful and if taken to heart could be the means of much interpersonal and relational healing, not to mention spiritual healing that would eliminate a judgementalism that has historically served and perpetuated indescribable and despicable acts of man's inhumanity to man.  

Drawing near someone so closely that you feel their heartbeat, smell their sweat, look into their eyes, and experience what they are experiencing is a closeness that not everyone seeks.  Staying at a distance can keep things simple, dishonest, but simple.  Getting too close can cut too deeply because it might just lead to caring, and caring can be too painful.

Boo Radley had his issues and no one cared much.  No one got close to him.  They just judged him, marginalized him, and put up with him, from a distance.  It’s a lengthy story but through a long and painful and bloody and evil journey of misunderstandings and false accusations Scout Finch came to know Boo.  In fact, a few others did, too.  So when Scout said to her father, “When they finally saw him, why he hadn’t done any of those things . . . Atticus, he was real nice…" her father responded, “Most people are, Scout, when you finally see them.” Then Harper Lee says, "He turned out the light and went into Jem’s room. He would be there all night, and he would be there when Jem waked up in the morning."

"When you finally see them.”  Therein lies the rub.  Seeing takes time and effort and silence and involvement and participation.  It can be costly, time consuming, and demanding.  

Seeing demands patience, faithfulness, and even gentleness. It involves self-forgetfulness, the laying aside of one's own agenda, and the taking up of another's conversation, hopes and dreams, brokenness, wounded-ness, and story.  Seeing is up close and personal, the very stuff of which relationships are born and thrive. 

"You never really understand a person until 

you consider things from his point of view — 

until you climb into his skin and walk around in it”